Ouf of the Mouth of Babes

Aug 24, 2015
Porter made a little friend in the waiting room at the Dr.'s office. He also had a stick from outside with him.
Little Girl: You have a stick?
Porter: No, it's a sword.
Girl: Oh, a stick-sword?
Porter: It's a real sword so I can kill naughty lions!

Blake took Brooke on her first mountain bike trail ride. He forget to tell Brooke that there was a steep hill coming up. She went right over the hill, off the trail and almost ran into a bush. She said to Blake, "Dad! Why didn't you tell me there was a hill! I could have ran into a skunk in that bush!"

Aug 21, 2015
What Brooke has gleaned from her first days of school "in our bodies we have a tank that fills with water. When your tank gets full, that's when you pee your pants"

Aug 21, 2015
I  overheard porter having a conversation with his imaginary friend. The friend asked if porter could play. "Um, let me check. (Pause) yeah, my parents died in a fire so I can play alllllll day!"

Aug 18, 2015
Oh heaven help me survive toddlerhood with boys! Yesterday porter burned his thumb from touching a hot burner on the stove. Then today he comes running in the house screaming because he tried to eat a bug and it bit/stung him on his tongue. Oh.my.gosh. what!?

Aug 8, 2015
We went to Blake's work picnic and the kids each got some cotton candy. Porter's face was a sticky mess at the end and I could see him using his tongue to try to lick it clean. Not getting very far, he comes over to wear I was sitting, sticks his face right next to mine and says, "here mom. Lick my face."

Aug 7, 2015
 We always tell the kids if they leave their toys out we'll give them to DI for another little girl/boy to take care of. Well, I didn't put the vacuum away and porter said, "you need to put that away or I am taking it to DI for another little mommy to play with."

July 9, 2015
The kids have been watching Peter pan and porter loves captain hook. He broke off the curved end of a plastic hanger so he could have a hook. Well, at the store he dropped his hook and when he couldn't find it, he was yelling, "where's my hooker?!" Over and over

June 30, 2015
 I was attempting to help Porter do a page out of a preschool workbook. He was supposed to fill in the missing number. I said, "One, two, three...what comes after 3?" Porter looked at me so serious and said, "You get a spank."

June 15, 2015
Why I hate potty training boys: took porter potty at the library. Used the handicap restroom so I could bring the stroller in. Porter sits and then sprays pee all over the bathroom stall including all over Grant in his stroller! Yuck! Next time I will remember to bring a raincoat for us.

February 19, 2015
 Yesterday Porter was helping Blake in the garage. He points to something and says, "Dad, I wuv (love) this. What is it?" Blake turns around and says, "It's an ax, buddy." Porter: "Oh. I love it!"

December 9, 2014
 Another Brookeism: "Mom, we don't have to make our own bananas. Do you wanna know why? Because they grow on monkey trees!"

May 27, 2014
Brooke-isms: *While listening to Christina Perri in the car "Mom, is this witch music?" *After seeing a commercial of a sister reading to her brother: (in a wishful voice) "Oh, I wish I had a brother!"
 *Brooke makes Porter crawl around and meow and be her cat. She's named him Molly.
Porter can now climb out of his crib. He scared the crap out of me last night when he suddenly appeared in the kitchen.